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Thingy things

Random thoughts:

If your greatest talent is being young and attractive, the happiest times in your life will be memories by the time you're 10 years out of puberty and then you will be boring and sad for like another 50 years.

I still wave at fire trucks. Well, at firemen in fire trucks.

The best revenge against jerks who actively hope and work for your destruction is to live a healthy, happy and well balanced life, to the best of your ability.

My 30th birthday party was the most fun I've had at a party in my honor since my batmitzvah. I fed 60 people vegan pizza and vegan meatballs, got hugs from everyone and my hair looked really good. I wish I could turn 30 again next year. Haw!

I burn 1.2 calories a minute while I'm sleeping or sitting in front of a computer. I burn 12.6 calories per minute on a 5mph jog on a treadmill. I'm learning to love that hamster wheel.

While I was collecting eggs this morning, my chickens ate my peanut butter toast out of my hand. I love them so hard. Every morning I pick them up and hug them and kiss their ears and smell their feathers. Some day we will have goats too, and then I will be able to eat goat cheese again. It is the cheese I miss most of all since I stopped the dairy.

I have stopped a lot of things so far this year, some intentionally and some by accident. At the new year I stopped taking nicotine lozenges after 4 years of using them heavily. That was an intentional choice because it was embarrassing, expensive, and bad for me. I am very proud of the fact that I am done with them. I stopped eating dairy/eggs that don't come from my chickens after Taxi and Number Four died, also in January. After crying every day when I woke up, I figured that it just wasn't worth it to me to do something that brings misery and death to thousands and thousands of chickens when the sickness and death of one made me so terribly sad. I am really really happy with my choice. Convenience is overrated, feeling like you're living an authentic life is priceless for me.

I stopped taking anti-anxiety medication every day after taking the meds for around 3 years straight. This was mostly an accident, but a happy one. I had tapered down the dose for a while, fell asleep without it altogether for a couple of nights in a row and just decided that I wasn't going to use it as a regular sleep aid any more. Again, this is something I wouldn't hesitate to use again if I needed it, but it's really very good to not need it.

I've stopped washing my face. This has helped my skin immensely. The reason I've been able to do this is because I don't wear make up, so I'm not all covered in goop all the time, so I don't need to wash all the goop off which makes my skin dry and then oily. So, I'm just a normal amount of oily all the time, but it looks really good. I have had to let go of the joy of exfoliation though. :(

I stopped going to therapy around the end of last year. This is after 4 years of therapy once or twice a week. I'm actually feeling really good without it. Something I learned in therapy is that 99% of happiness is perspective, and I think I was using a lot of that time to focus on all the shitty things I could think of, and that wasn't helping me by the end of it. I truly believe that therapy helped make my life something worth living simply by teaching me how to live it better, and I wouldn't hesitate to go back if I needed to do so, but it's nice to be able to go about my business without it, honestly.

CON is on the horizon. Yoga is an increasingly amazing and beautiful part of my life. Volleyball is great. My friends are so awesome they make my heart ache. Ian and I are 4 years into our relationship and are doing well. Life is pretty good right now, and that's wonderful. I hope you all are the same, and if you're not, you should call me so I can listen to what's going on and care and tell you how much I love you, because I do. Like whoa.

my girl is sick


I am scared and tired.

I <3 the bus driver.

Between the ages of 11-13 my parents made me go to Talmud Torah, an after-school Hebrew/religious school. I hated it passionately, and used to deliberately miss the bus that took me there so my dad would have to come pick me up. That way I could beg him to let me come home instead. It was pretty sad.

I have only sketchy memories of what we learned in those classes. The only Hebrew I remember is how to say "The bell rang." and "I need to go to the bathroom." I also have vague memories of repeatedly trying to feed and hydrate dying flies that lived in a window sill in one of my classrooms.

Out of the whole Talmud Torah experience, the only thing I ever liked was one of the bus drivers. Since there were only a small amount of kids that went to TT that lived near me, we often had a short bus driven by a guy named Dan. Dan was, hairy, short and entirely inappropriate.

He would kick parts of the bus and dent them to show me that his boots were steel toed. When we were doing something he didn't like he would say slyly, "That's one." We would ask "what do you mean? what are you going to do" and he would just look at us in the mirror and smile. When we would continue being irritating he would say "That's two." We would laugh and laugh with fear and amusement at the thought of what he would eventually do if we made him really mad or got to whatever number was the number that would cause him to flip his shit. The counting never actually amounted to anything other than entertainment.

We often had an hour in between when I got picked up and when we had to pick up the next kid, so a few times when I was the only kid on the bus he would be like "Let's do something fun." and he drove the school bus weird places like through the Wendy's drive through and ordered a diet coke. I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Once he pulled the entire bus right into my parent's driveway and came in and we all ate spaghetti.

He also told me dirty jokes. One of them was "Have you ever been caught masturbating in the closet?" and then when I would say "no" he said "It's a good place to hide, isn't it?" That one was on the tame side. I would always beg him to tell me more jokes. I never told my parents about this because I had deep affection for Dan and didn't want him to get fired.

He eventually did get fired when he was taking a kid out on one of his "Let's do something fun." bus trips to get ice cream and the principal of the school saw him.

Anyway, he was cool and I am glad that I knew him.

This malaise tastes great on sandwiches

Here's the difference between a backyard Elise-chicken egg and a store bought "local organic" egg.


We are going to be full of vitamins.

One of the dudes I play volleyball with keeps getting texts from someone who thinks he's someone else. Last week while I was drinking tequila with him, he got this gem:


Feel free to call this person and let them know that they are sending these things to the wrong number, and may or may not be raided by the police soon.

Here's part of a personal ad that I must have made in 2002 or so. At the time, Cinnamon printed it out and collaged with it. 2002 me's awkwardness and shameless self-disclosure makes 2009 me feel really uncomfortable on her behalf.


Har Mar Superstar tonight and Mountain Goats tomorrow. I'm excited somewhere in here, I just know it.

First eggs!

We think we missed yesterday's first egg on the right. Both were in a nest box this morning, both laid by Favorite.

A comparison next to an Extra Large sized brown egg on the right.

Number Four is in the nest box today trying for the silver medal! The girls got lots of hugs this morning and sweet bread and scrambled eggs and grapes. Yay!'

*ETA* Number Four laid egg number three! wheee!


a selection of my google search history, alphabetically:

a softer world
acd photoeditor crashes when saving
art from Great Expectations
baby dance single ladies
baked flan
buffy speak
bug zapper
burning man
christine rules of the game
contact dancing
dexter season 2
dr horrible profits
elliott smith roman candle
epitaph 1
forgetting the pain relating to childbirth
fox in minneapolis
garfield minus garfield
geodisic dome
glee quotes
haley bonar
how long do you cook lasagna
how to make kombucha from a scoby
I'm on a boat lyrics
is soy milk good for you
jason paisley
judo moves
La Cross, WI
lactose intolerant
Maria's on Franklin
mei and the kittenbus
old timey word for doctor
optic neuritis
pizza luce st paul
propagate DNS
raccoon grabbing something in a jar
raspberry dessert wine
slow on the uptake
snap pants
The Current
The Guild
the prime directive
unable to open TWAIN source
unico anime
unilateral vestibular hypofunction
vegan banana bread
walking shadow
was jennifer aniston drunk on conan
why do you do what you do

I'm having a day

Here's some randomness for you.

The place that I went for training in Chicago back in June had some serious issues. I laughed a whole lot while taking these.


MOARCollapse )

O -Orange? Deep saffron? GAMBOGE?

Once in elementary school, we had a giant school assembly so we could go listen to a deaf man explain what it was like to be deaf. He signed all of his speech and had an interpreter and at one point in the assembly we were able to raise our hands and ask questions. I was called on and asked "Do you like reading lips?" It was translated to him and in response he immediately yelled "GGGGGNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as loud as he possibly could, which was really loud in a gymnasium. I was terrified of both deaf people and asking questions for a period of time afterwards.

Yesterday, my first internet boyfriend died. His name was Nova and we met on the Cities 2000 BBS when I was 14 or 15. We talked dorkily online about things for a while, and Sam Melcher and I went and met him and his brother in person only once, I think, at Perkins. He was big and had thick coke bottle glasses and made weird noises a lot instead of talking. I saw him every once in a while at First Ave, 10 years later and we would wave hello to each other.
I had a dream that I was talking with my brother. He was snorkling in a murky pool filled with bugs with tentacles and leeches, telling me about how all he can do is think about death and how nothing truly has meaning. I tried to explain that I think about the same things, but I comfort myself with yogic breathing and by imagining the space between my eyes.

Thanks to Hulu, good or bad, I've started watching TV again. I'm on season 3 of Lost, I've watched all of Dollhouse, Castle, The Tonight Show with Conan, Modern Family, and Glee. It's good stuff. I've been attempting to get my dad to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog because I know he would love it. Soon I will just show up at his house and sit with him while he watches it. The most difficult part of that idea would be to not sing along off key the whole time so he can actually hear the show.

Is there anything I should be watching on Hulu that I'm not watching? If you say The View, I will unfriend you.